Dating Games: Creating jealousy and insecurity — Susan Winter


Amna writes, “Hey Susan, I was dating a man who constantly compared me to other girls physically & made me feel bad about my looks. He knew this bothered me & even after having stopped him many times, he would not come to a halt. He would even ogle & flirt with other girls too. Till today I have lost all my confidence and self-esteem & I think I’m just not good enough. Please help love myself again :(“

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Relationship Expert and Bestselling Author (Allowing Magnificence, and Older Women/Younger Men) Susan Winter, writes, speaks and coaches on evolutionary forms of loving partnership and higher thinking. Media credits include: THE OPRAH SHOW, THE TODAY SHOW, GOOD MORNING AMERICA, ABC/CBS/NBC EVENING NEWS, CNN, BBC, COSMO, HARPERS BAZAAR, PEOPLE, FORTUNE, BUSINESS INSIDER, NEW YORK MAGAZINE, THE LONDON TIMES, and THE NEW YORK TIMES. In radio, Susan is a frequent guest on NPR, ABC, BBC, PLAYBOY RADIO (Sirius), and CBS NEWS RADIO. HerPodcast, ‘The Susan Winter Show’, can be heard on iHeart Radio and iTunes.


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  1. When they know there is nothing attractive about themselves they try to make you feel bad about yourself in every possible way they can but the scariest thing is they are closest to your heart so even if they aren't true even if you leave them it's gonna leave a permanent mark
    But remember you're the strongest bcoz you didn't punched them in face they should thank you for it🙂

  2. You are assuming too much. What if she gained 50lbs during their relationship? What if he’s just trying to express that but can’t do it in a nice enough way…. is it a crime to be unattracted to someone who is overweight? What if the bf is in shape?

  3. From the movie Blast From The Past…good manners are so others feel comfortable around you…and he learned that from his parents…

  4. Of course you shouldn't try to bring out insecurity in your partner or jealousy……but you suggesting you tell them how great and flawless and beautiful they are 10x a day every day……..doesn't that communicate how insecure you are……….once you make them feel that they in this pedestal and make them feel so confident that it turns into arrogance or that they can do better… Or they entitled ……where that's leave you. . ????

  5. Thank you for this beautiful message. I figured he was trying to make me leave and so I did. But O M G I was so very in LOVE with that man.

  6. This happen to me last person I dated he said he doesn’t like giving out compliments, told me I don’t speak soft enough to appeal to him, didn’t like me having certain hairstyles or certain colour make up, he was very fussy, eventually I got fed up and left as I started to feel very heavy and insecure around him and I knew what he was saying was nonsense ☹️ now I feel so much better he’s out my life and the irony is he now blames me why it didn’t work 👎🏾👎🏾 I said good bye and wish you all the best.

  7. This has every woman i liked thrown in my face even before first date. It results in me ignoring them and i never talk to them again. If you women wanna get ignored by somebody you like, this is master class how to get rejected in warp speed. It seem to be boosting your ego´s at the time, but when you realize that you actually just lost him, it´s no fun no more!? Someone that plans harm or misfortune for others may also inadvertently be the recipient of that same misfortune.

  8. That’s too sad .It was tried on me for years . When I left I realised it was abusive .I got my groove and confidence back by changing my hair ,styling etc and chose to be exactly Me .I never permitted any man to do this again .

  9. I’m certain he is a hillbilly so I wouldn’t let it get to you YOU NEED TO LEARN TO THANK GOD/ THE UNIVERSE/ YOUR GUARDIAN ANGELS FOR SHOWING YOU THIS! YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOUR EVERYTHING HES INSECURE! You are a beautiful soul! He’s insecure probably has mommy issues! Smile beautiful!🙏🏼💜🦋 1111

  10. 1.The good news is I'm still attracting good looking men at 60;2. the next good news is this so called good behavior lasts at most x 3 -4 max dates, sadly the Fake Good Man behavior disappears and a cruel made up rude man appears, the next day the 2 minute moment of " my personality sinned in his eyes" which we discussed I bring it up in jest to test a conflict or not;he is 9 times out of ten seriously yelling over the phone again. So I just did this again uncovered a cruel jealous man in 72 hours. I will not date a liar, cruel, mean , friend so why would I depend on this behavior for my life partner. Hope that made sense. Next! Is very important for a 60 year old . There is no time for time wasters!!!

  11. Perfectly put. Absolutely LOVE your videos. You have helped and are helping me so much! Continue doing what you do. Your a true gift. ❤

  12. Just discovered you, your advice and presentation are great. Real, authentic, true. So able to reach us out here. Thank you!

  13. Susan my ex telling me about the dates hes dating, I said he has issues. 59 yrs old divorced ex gf left him cause he not ready to marry her she left. He knows I am dating others. He got mad because I'm spending time with another guy. Its business only. So he emailed me this morning saying we need to part ways. I said okay. I'm like god I did not ask for this. He says hes attracted to me. But we want different things not true. Susan. Another one bites the dust!.. I told him I will continue to date others. You are. Is he playing the jealous game. ? He stated I should have told him I was going to chicago to visit.i felt like it was none of his business.


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